School anxiety: signs, causes and how to help

School anxiety is a fear some children develop of going to school. It can also be called school refusal.¹ All children might feel some pressure related to their school life from time to time.² But for some children, school can be a consistently stressful environment because of:

• Schoolwork and expectations related to achievement
• Different or diverse learning needs
• Their ability to make and keep friendships
• Bullying
• Relationships with their teachers
• Their mental health (including sleep-related conditions, general anxiety disorder and depression).^1,2

This can make them refuse to go to school or become quiet or withdrawn within the school environment. But this doesn’t mean that their school anxiety will affect every aspect of their lives. You may find that your child is more talkative or expressive outside of school or places where they aren’t exposed to certain pressures.²

If your child is regularly showing symptoms of school anxiety, it’s important to address it with the support of their school and, in some cases, healthcare professionals.

If your child has school anxiety, they may:

• Have stomach aches or nausea (sickness) before school is due to start
• Become tearful or clingy
• Refuse to leave home
• Have panic attacks (you might notice that your child suddenly has difficulty breathing, feels sick or has a racing heartbeat)
• Have difficulty sleeping at night.^1,3

These are symptoms of emotional distress that can result in low attendance or lack of engagement while at school. ¹

School anxiety can be both a short-term and long-term problem. However, because it is often linked to your child’s attendance, it’s important to address it as early as you can. This is because the more time your child spends out of school, the more difficult it becomes for them to return.^1,2

Talk about the issue

Allowing your child to talk about their school-related issues with you in a safe space can help you understand the reasons for their school refusal.

Depending on the reasons they share with you, you might be able to address the problem by introducing stress management techniques into their routines. Even if they don’t have the words to describe stress, anxiety or fear clearly, listen out for signs of these wellbeing issues in the way they talk about their feelings.^2,3

Discuss your child’s anxiety with their school

You should discuss your child’s school anxiety with their teachers or the school’s Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO) early on. This will help them understand why your child might be absent. They may also be able to support you with strategies to encourage your child to attend.

This might include spending time in a quiet area within the school premises, avoiding the playground or setting up peer-mentoring to help your child connect with other children. ^1,3

Establish a set routine

For some children, having a clearly defined schedule can help them manage the symptoms of anxiety. The familiarity of their routine can help them feel in control and calmer before and during the school day.²

If you’ve already spoken to your child’s school about their anxiety, your GP might also be able to help. They will be able to refer your child to mental health support for within your area.³

However, if your child’s anxiety is severe and consistent, you may also need to consider alternative routes of education. This might include homeschooling. There is support available for alternative school provision in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.^2,4–6