Should we celebrate someone else's weight loss?

Weight loss can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it’s intentional so you might notice when someone is reaching their weight loss goals. But in other situations, people have lost weight due to illness, stress or even grief.

Although it might feel natural to comment on their new appearance, it’s important to know how to handle any conversations you have with care, sensitivity and compassion.

Many people think of thinness as a beauty standard. Magazines, social media platforms and other forms of media often showcase people who fit into this narrow view of beauty. This, in turn, makes many people think that weight loss is a process that should be celebrated.

When you notice that a friend, family member or colleague has lost weight, although you may recognise that it may have benefits for their health, you might also consciously or unconsciously congratulate them on more closely fitting social norms and cultural standards.

You might also think that they feel happier as a result of their changed appearance. But you should question why you think this. Weight loss doesn’t necessarily improve the quality of a person’s life. This is particularly true if they have lost weight unintentionally.

In these situations, even though you might be well-meaning, the person on the receiving end of your compliments might not see them as that.

Yes. Weight management is a complicated and personal journey. Even if someone has planned to lose weight their motivations and reasons for pursuing change might evolve.

Simply put, you may not know the full story behind someone’s weight loss. Eating disorders, mental health struggles and grief can affect anyone. Although they may not have let you know if they live with any of these concerns, they may be dealing with them privately. Celebrating weight loss can reinforce harmful behaviours or be a reminder of difficult personal situations.

You might also trigger others. If you comment on someone’s weight loss in a public space or in areas where others are present, you might unintentionally encourage the idea that thinness is best for a person’s health and wellbeing. For people who live with body dysmorphia, eating disorders or have consistently struggled with their weight, your comments may drive unhealthy comparisons to others.

Staying mindful of how and where you have weight-related conversations can help avoid reinforcing negative stereotypes about what it means to be successful, have self-control and be healthy.

If you’ve noticed that someone you know has lost weight. You can try:

• Asking them how they feel. Instead of discussing their weight changes, talk to them about their wellbeing. This lays the groundwork for a more open conversation about their health and feelings about their current appearance.
• Don’t make assumptions. Actively listen to the ways they talk about their weight. Not everyone is happy with their weight loss.
• Be mindful of your language. Conversations about weight are sensitive. Instead of saying, “You look much better now” or “You’ve lost so much weight”, try to focus on non-weight-related achievements. “You seem so much more confident” or “It’s inspiring to see how committed you are to running” are examples of how you can reframe the way you talk about success.

Sometimes, it can be the most considerate option.

If it isn’t clear how they feel about their weight loss, then talking about it can cause upset or harm. Even when well-intentioned, comments about appearance can be demoralising or impact self-esteem.

>If they openly share that they are proud of their weight loss, it’s okay to offer them support and affirm the changes they’ve made. But even in these situations, it’s important to highlight and celebrate non-scale victories. If you’ve noticed positive changes in their behaviour, attitude toward commitment or self-esteem, commenting on it can help in letting them know that they are more than their weight or appearance.